


Beginner's Luck

by Shifting_Through_Ash



Series: Life of A: [1]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Drug Addiction, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:28:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23241868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shifting_Through_Ash/pseuds/Shifting_Through_Ash
Summary: If you asked me what I would be doing in my twenties I would have said some smart-ass comment about dying the day before my twentieth birthday. Julius Little saved my life. I threw everything I had into the Third Street Saints, not caring if I lived or died, just paying back this man who I owed everything.Follows the first Saints Row game.
Relationships: Female Boss/Lin (Saints Row)
Series: Life of A: [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671055
Kudos: 6





	1. Becoming Saint's Row

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life of A: Saint  
> Playa meets Julius Little and becomes a saint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, little suicide warning at the start here. I added a line break to show when it’s over but our Saint starts out attempting.   
> I wouldn’t say this is darker than the games but it is in line with them. There is drug use, violence, and sexual themes. Keep that in mind yeah?

The first thing I was ever called was baby girl Kent. I have been known as an angel, a dyke, a bitch, an addict, all the way back around to saint. People who never met me called me Local Psychopath, or Leader of the Saints. People who had met me called me Playa, Boss, That Mute Mothafucker, and for a short period, Prisoner 1138. With each name comes a story. This is the story of Playa.

The first panic attack I ever had was on a bridge. My mother was driving me home. There was a car accident that blocked traffic for miles. We sat there maybe ten minutes before I started hyper ventilating. Each second my chest felt tighter and tighter. My heart pounded. Finally I couldn’t breathe. I managed to get out of the car by myself but my mother had to lead me off of the bridge before I could breathe again. This was years ago.

Now I was on a bridge in the dark, the river below me rushing against the rocks. Not many cars passed by here. It had been ten minutes since I last saw the last one. I felt alone in that moment. I was high as a kite. My legs swung back and forth over the rushing water. I barely held on to the railing. My grip was loose enough that one strong wind would be enough to push me over.

Something most people didn’t know about me is I spent most of my early twenties high. It started out only using when I had bad days. Now, most days were bad and the fucking withdraws just made things worse. I didn’t— I couldn’t go more than a day without using, I had hoped it would kill me at that point.

Most nights I ended on my shitty couch in my shitty apartment. My pants would be around my ankles and I’d have a cotton ball pressed to my thigh. I found track marks to be unsightly so I would just hide it under my belt, not many people were heading down there nowadays anyway.

I don’t remember when this night deviated from the norm. On the usual night I would get high, cook dinner, and then pass out, hopefully on a soft surface. However, this night I left my apartment.

I don’t remember when I started to hear voices. Hallucinations weren’t common with heroin use. Well, not in my experience at least. But there I was, listening to her voice try to stop me.

 _Too many people have died already. Don’t do this_.

I don’t remember how many people I’ve killed.

I remember the look on my father’s face as I forced him to put that gun in his mouth. That was worth it. The rest? I’m still not sure.

_Please don’t do this._

I don’t remember when I made the choice to kill myself. I honestly don’t even think it was an active choice. There just happened to be a bridge and I just happened to be high enough to want to fly.

 _Think of your sister_.

I don’t remember when I got the last letter from my sister. It was sometime in my teens. She had already thought I died. A friend brought me the letter. I still have it. I still have all of her letters. Even the ones about you, Sam. Even though they hurt I keep them. She doesn’t need me. She already thinks I’m dead. Might as well make her nightmares reality.

_You like numbers. Everyone that’s survived jumping off of a bridge has said that the regretted it._

I remember sounds of the water as it rushed below the bridge. It was spring. The rivers were practically over flowing at this point.

 _That everything that mattered before they jumped didn’t matter and they just wanted to survive that fall. If one hundred percent of the people who tried and failed imagine how many regretted it and were too late to stop it_.

I remember the calm I felt. Like suddenly nothing mattered. Not war, not drugs or death, not family or friends. They all just slipped away.

_This is it huh? After everything you’ve been through you’re just going to, what, let yourself drown? Why? Why would this be worth all of the pain you’ve been through? Think of your sister. Think of what’s going to happen when she gets news that her sister was not only alive and well, but jumped off of a bridge not even an hour drive from her house. Think about what that’s going to do to her._

She’d be better off without me. But Sam? If this really is you. If you are some kind of angel trying to save my life and, let’s face it, you’ve been doing that the entire time I’ve known you. Don’t pull a Robin Williams. I’ll be fine in hell. You don’t need to save me.

_Don’t do this._

I don’t remember hitting the water.  
  


* * *

The light was ridiculously bright. Of course, after a bender light wasn’t anyone’s friend. I didn’t know that light would be a problem in hell. But hey, as long as Daddy Dearest wasn’t here I’d take some intense lens flares. 

I blinked a few times, my eyes too dry to adjust. This wasn’t my house. The bed was softer than mine. The desk and chair didn’t belong to me. And last I checked the large black man walking into the room wasn’t my roommate.

His deep voice broke the stillness of the room, “You okay, Playa?” He pulled a chair up and sat beside the bed.

A younger white dude walked in behind him. It was clear these guys were a part of the Third Streets Saints.

Stillwater had four major gangs the Carnales, who had weapon shipping while also producing and selling drugs. The Vice Kings had their hands in the prostitution and drug rings. The Rollerz were street racing and chop shops. The Third Street Saints were underdogs. Whenever the Saints tried to get in any of this action, they were quickly suppressed by the other gangs.

“I brought you over the railing pretty hard, banged your head up. Mind if I take a look?”

I shrugged.

He gently grabbed my chin and moved my head to the side. “That don’t look too bad. You should be fine. I’m Julius Little, That over there is Troy,” he gestured to the white man. “You can thank him later.”

I honestly wasn’t sure if this was some type of drug induced hallucination, or if this was my own personal hell.

“The Row ain’t sage no more, girl. We got gangs fightin’ over shit that ain’t theirs. They don’t care if you representin’ or not,” Julius said.

Troy tapped Julius on his shoulder. “Yo, Julius this ain’t the time to recruit—“  
“We need all the help we can get, son,” Julius interrupted

He was right. One more hit and the Saints would be done for.

“She’s clearly a junkie and we stopped her from killing herself last night.”

Julius studied me for a second. He gazed into my eyes. “What are you using, Playa?”At this point in my life? Heroin. Later on I start using a bit of everything.

He sighed. “Look, the Row’s got a problem. So do you. If you want something to live for come to the church tomorrow.” Julius stood. He and Troy walked off to wherever they came from.

I sat there staring at the walls for god knows how long. Who the fuck does he think he is? Maybe I don’t want a solution. Maybe I’m perfectly fuckin’ content walking over there and take one of those guns to blow my own fuckin’ head out and that’s not fuckin’ any of his business.  
  
I laid back and stared at the ceiling. Maybe I do need help. Sam always said I should trust more. Look how well that worked out for me? I’m six months out of the military, if that’s what you want to call it, and I’m so fucked up that I can’t go a day without doping up. 

Fuck. I’m joining a gang.

Most people in Stillwater weren’t religious. Everyone believed that the man that supplied them heroin was the only holy thing around. The churches in Stillwater proved that. Most of the time the windows were broken, the pews were shards on the ground, and the walls were covered in graffiti. That’s not to mention the litter on the floor. You’d be lucky to avoid stepping on the condoms. The Saints took over one of the few churches in Stillwater. Ironically I’m sure.

Julius led a group of Saints out of the church. He seemed to be mid-speech. “Every muthafucka here knows what we need to do. They be ridin’ around thinkin’ they own these streets. I don’t care what flags they’re flyin…. Rollerz, Carnales, Vice Kings, no one’s making this brotha scared to walk the Row. We ‘bout to lock this shit down right now.”

The people dressed in purple yelled their agreement. A man with over gelled and horrendously dyed hair studied me.

When I first met Johnny Gat I hated him, I thought he was a sexist gang banger and didn’t deserve my time of day. Now he’s one of my best friends. I’d do anything to keep him by my side. I don’t trust many people with my real name but Johnny is one of them.

Of course you can’t blame me for hating him when his first words said to me were, “Who the fuck is this broad?”

“Troy and I found her. I was gonna see if she’d ride with us.”

The man shook his head. “Julius, if she wants to run with the Saints she’s gotta be canonized”

Troy nodded. “He’s right, Julius. Everyone had to do it.”

Julius studied at me for a second before nodding. “You ready for this playa?”

Next thing I know everyone around me is cracking their knuckles. Some guy from behind me sucker punched me right in my side. I thought I was about to vomit when another dude whacked me in the face.

“Defend yourself,” Julius’s voice rang out over the cheering.

I hated fighting. I hated the headspace it put me in. I hated how I could blackout and beat someone half to death. The worst part was that I didn’t feel a thing after I killed people. It confused the shit out of me because I knew that I should feel something and the fact that I didn’t, made me feel like shit, like there was something wrong with me.

The man behind me socked me in the kidney. As soon as the pain hit, the world disappeared.

When I came to, four men were laying there on the ground bloody and bruised. My fists hurt. My eye was swelling. I could feel blood trickling down from my nose. Shit. I’m gonna need to get more Band-Aids.

Some white dude walked up to me. “You earned your colors today,” he said with a shake of my hand. Great, I now can wear purple.

A black guy walked up. “That’s some impressive shit; the only other saint who kicked ass like that was Johnny.”

Johnny leaned in and whispered, “Shit took me half the time.”

Julius broke up the congratulations party as he patted my shoulder. “Welcome to the Saints,” he said quietly. He spoke louder when he addressed the group. “Let’s get down to business. If we’re serious about takin’ back the Row, we gotta let those muthafuckas know what time it is. Now you break it down, and it’s all about respect. Get enough of it, they’re gonna back off, and we’re gonna move right on in. We got some friends in town that could use some help. Give ‘em a hand. ‘Course you can always drop any muthafucka flyin’ the wrong flag. So long as word gets out that the Saints is on the Row. I don’t give a damn how you do it. You feel me?” He eyeballed us all before nodding. “Now get out there.”

The crowd dispersed. Troy walked up to me. “Alright man, it’s time to get you a piece. Head to Friendly Fire, across the street, and get yourself a weapon.”

I nodded and took off in a slight jog, with Troy following slightly behind me.

Friendly Fire was what you’d expect from a gun shop. The walls were lined with weapons, the glass counters were full of guns and ammo. And the man behind the counter had a shotgun in his hand. “What are you looking for?”

I pointed to the pistols. “Alright, well we got the…” he rattled off the names of the guns as he pulled them out of the counter. I knew my guns. The guns they had were all shitty and overpriced. However, I needed a gun, and Friendly Fire was the only gun shop in town. So I settled.

“We’re good, let’s move.” Troy smirked as we left. “Aright man, whaddya say we take that piece and clean up the Row?”

Before I could reply, not that I was going to, Troy opened a car door and pulled the driver out. “We need this,” he said. “Playa, I’m driving.”

We passed a few lights before we saw any yellow shirts. Most people knew to say away from purple, yellow, or red in this town.

I stuck my gun out of the window and held down the trigger as we drove past. Troy hit the one that tried to run away.

Soon enough the streets were four Vice Kings lighter. “Looks like you know how to handle yourself.” Troy laughed.

We cleared out two more groups when Troy stopped us. “We musta got their attention. If it gets too hot, go to Forgive and Forget they’ll cover up everything… for a cost. Get into the car I’ll tell you where it is.”

It had been a few months since I drove but I trusted my abilities not to kill too many people. Due to the Vice Kings chasing us we couldn’t exactly drive safely. So when we arrived at Forgiven and Forget, our front bumper had fallen off and our back bumper was cover in blood. Forgive and Forget looked like a drive through at a fast food joint. “Forgive and Forget: we cover up everything to murder What can I cover up for you?” Troy leaned over to my window. “Yeah, we killed some Vice Kings, mind gettin’ them off our backs?”

“That’ll be one hundred dollars.” I handed over the cash. “Consider yourself Forgiven and Forgot.” Because that makes sense.

I pulled out of the drive and started driving back the way we came.

“Hey man, Now that everything’s taken care of, can you drop me off at Freckle Bitch’s? I’m jonsein’ for a fun bag.”

I nodded and sped up. Freckle Bitch’s was our local burger joint. The food wasn’t good for you, but it had fast, cheap, and tasty.

Troy opened to door and squints at me. “You comin?” he asked.

I shook my head. After a terrible week, I have a strict one Freckle Bitch’s meal a day.

“Your loss.” He got out of the car and walked into the fast food place.

Just as I hit the road again my cell started ringing. Now this was before there were laws against talking on the phone and driving. Now don’t get me wrong I recognize the shit’s dangerous. That being said I also drive on sidewalks when I’m watching the road so really how much worse could it get? 

“Good work playa.” Julius spoke when I answered the phone. “Word has gotten out that the Saints ain’t bullshittin’ now we gotta lock our rep down. Help some of our friend out to keep word up. Oh and put on some damn purple,” Julius ordered.

Well fuck. I had hoped to go as long as I could without donning the fuckin’ purple.

He gave me an address of someone he wanted me to help out. ‘Snatch’ he called it.

Looks like my next stop was a clothing store. I went to the first store the sold clothes that I found. Sloppy Seconds was a used clothes store. You’d be lucky if there wasn’t at least one bodily fluid on the clothes you bought there. I found a light yellow wife beater, that I hopped was yellow from dye and not piss, and a dark purple jacket. I also got a pair of jeans and sneakers. I always hated the fact that just because I was in a gang meant that I had to wear purple. Not that I have anything against to color but just because I’m in your gang doesn’t mean you get to control my outfits. I dress fly as a mothafucker and these people limit me to purple.

It was over an hour later when I arrived at Julius’s friend’s place.

The man was leaning on the side of a building. “What’s goin’ on?” he gauged me for a few seconds, almost as if he was trying to figure out what I was. “You thinkin’ ‘bout working on your back? I give all my girls a real nice cut.”

I glared at him.

“Alright, alright. Well if you aren’t lookin’ to sell maybe you lookin’ to buy. If so, I can let Peggy,” He gestured to a large white woman who was currently shaking her ass at me. “Over here take you for a ride, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the fact that you a woman.”

While I was attracted to women, I didn’t pay to fuck. I continued to glare at him.

“If you aren’t sellin’ or buyin’ what do you want from me…” you could see the gears turning in his head. “Are you the kid that Julius was talkin’ about?”

I nodded. “Oh. Look, I gotta be honest, I’m trying to get a business started here , but right now the only ho I got is so fugly blind muthafuckas been turnin’ her down. Now if you could bring me some of them fine bitches who are turnin’ tricks for the other pimps… I’d be able to start seein’ some real money. But I ain’t asking for somethin’ for nothin’. You help me out, I’ll cut you in on what the bitches make, and I’ll spread the word that the Saints are the real deal.”

Even though all I wanted was to punch this fucker in the face, I nodded. I got back in my car. For some reason or another I knew where the ‘good’ hoes were. Probably from spend too many nights at Freckle Bitch’s.

Pimps in this town looked the part. Big fur coats. Large furry hats. And ridiculous colors. I rolled up to the pimps and the hoes.

I stuck my gun out of the window and put three bullets into the man’s chest. He fell to the ground and the hoes screamed. I got out of the car and shoved the women towards the car. “W-W-What are you g-g-gonna do to us?” one of the girls asked as I slide into the car.

The drive back to the pimp’s was easy. You know other than the two screaming girls in the back. They didn’t move.

I turn around and pointed my pistol at them. The girl squealed before jumping out of the car. I watched the girls run into the building. I didn’t move until the door was closed. I did this three more times before Troy called me.

“Hey, Rumor is an old liquor store is being used as a Carnales hide out. Why don’t you head over there and check it out?”

“I’ll get right on that.” I drove back. The strong hold was facing the beach. I was ready to go.

It was like Troy said an old abandoned liquor store. I pulled my pistol out and crouched before heading into the building. The first room didn’t have anyone in it; mostly it was a bunch of cabinets and broken glass.

A small hallway had a man in it. He hadn’t noticed me yet. I aimed my pistol and fired a single shot into the back of his head. The shot ran out alerting anyone else in the building.

“Who’s there!” a man yelled.

I poked my head around the corner and saw a man with a pistol. Before he could get a shot off I put two bullets into his chest.

This room had a couch and an old broken TV. I grabbed whatever ammo was on the man and continued on my way.

Just as I snuck into the next room guns started to go off. I jumped behind a filing cabinet and waited until the firing stop.

I leaned over to the side and emptied my magazine firing at a man behind an old mattress. Quickly I reloaded and started firing again, taking out the second man.

I raced towards door out into the alley way, barley managing not to get hit fighting off the two guys out there.

A car roared to life and starts barreling towards me. I dived out of the way, watching the car take off down the street.

Luckily there was a second car. I hopped into the second car and took off after them. As I took aim at the tires my car started to veer off the road.

Once we hit a beach, their car stops two men jump out of it and unload their guns at me. I sink down in my seat and start firing at them as well.

After my shots landed true, and the gun fight stopped, I tried to start up my car but it was wrecked and leaking.

My phone starts ringing. “Playa, swoop by the church and scoop us. It’s time to finish this shit,” Julius said. He hung up before I could say anything not that I was going to anyway.

Guess this means I need a car.

I start walking back to the road. I wasn’t too far from the church but Julius would probably be pissed if I took twenty minutes to walk there.

Once I hit the road I pulled my pistol out and started walking down the middle of the street. This was what I called ‘car shopping.’ I’d walk in the middle of the street and the first car that stops becomes mine. It doesn’t usually take too long. As a blue car pulled up to me I raised my pistol towards the driver. He opened the car door and took off in a sprint down the road.

“I got a tip that there’s a turf war going on right now. If we crash their party, we can take all those sons of bitches out at once,” Troy said as I walked into the church.

I nodded and walked to my car.

“Hope you’re strapped Playa, cause we’re about to go in hard. Head to the docks.”

I got on the road and started driving.

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” Troy said from the back seat. “We’re gonna go hard in there and it’s gonna be rough. Julius you think it’s cool we take this kid instead of Johnny?”

“Troy, you worry too much, the kid’ll be fine,” Julius said in a calming voice.

The drive to the docks took about ten minutes, when we got there Troy directed me to the warehouses.

“Stick with us kid. You’ll be fine,” Julius said as we got out of the car.

I could feel the change happening. My breathing deepened. My heart beat slowed. Everything moved in slow motion. Just like the old days.

We ran to cover. I hid behind an old dumpster. Troy and Julius were firing off shots from behind a crate. I poked my head around the dumpster and started firing at the woman in blue. Two of my four bullets landed in her chest.

We moved as a unit deeper into the firefights. Crates full of oil got hit with stray bullets ending in an explosion. Cars came from nowhere almost hitting Troy, Julius, and I.

After countless bullets wasted and a lot of people bleeding out, the lieutenants of the three gangs were dead. But the victory didn’t last due to the cops were after us.

Of course they made me drive the getaway vehicle. It wasn’t hard to lose the cops. Take a few sharp turns and switch cars a few times and you’re as good as dead to the police.

Julius turned to look at me once we arrived at the church. “We did it playa. Saint’s Row is ours again. Don’t think I’m finished with you yet though. I’m holding a meeting at the church. Swing by when you can.” He nodded once and got out of the car.

I sat in front of the church for a few minutes. It was late. Whatever Julius wanted could wait until morning.

I drove back to my shitty apartment. Considering it was in Stillwater it wasn’t a bad apartment. However saying it wasn’t bad in Stillwater standers was like saying heroin isn’t as bad as meth. The apartment was small. It was just a single bedroom with a tiny kitchen, a bathroom way too close to it for comfort and a living room that could hold a loveseat and maybe a TV. Although this was the age of CRT TVs, so maybe the TV wouldn’t fit.

I didn’t own on so I had no clue. I went straight to my fridge and pulled out a cold water bottle and some vodka. I normally didn’t drink, but I still needed sleep, and I’d rather not have nightmares tonight. So getting black out drunk was the only solution. The water was because I had an early start to my day tomorrow and didn’t want a hangover.

At some point I fell asleep that night, because I woke up on the floor of the bathroom, curled up in a ball. With a groan, I sat up and started my day.

I walked into the church. You have to remember this was a church in Stillwater. That meant the floor was covered in shit you shouldn’t think about. The walls were covered in graffiti. The pews were broken and coved with blood. Clearly the church had seen better days, I mean it had been taken over by a gang. It’s not like we were bumping shoulders with Mary and Joseph in here.

Julius stood where the preacher would. The Saints stared with watchful eyes. 

I made it just in time for his speech.

“Listen up people. I got some serious shit to discuss. Yeah, we cleared out the Row. You think for a second that’s gonna stop ‘em? Unless we wipe out all these muthafuckas out, they’re gonna keep comin’, and they ain’t gonna be happy.” He paused for a moment, looking over the crowd. “It ain’t gonna be settled until the Carnales, the Rollerz, and the Vice Kings ain’t nothin’ but a memory. Dex,” he glances at a young black man with a purple visor, “you got the Carnales. Ever since they hooked up with the Colombians, it’s like they own this town, and with that drug money rolling in, we can’t compete. Be smart how you move against ‘em. The Lopez family been runnin’ that gang for thirty years. There’s a reason they still around.”

Decent nodded. “Got it.” Dex was an asshole. According to Johnny he’s a dead asshole.

My only problem with him was that I wasn’t the one to put a bullet between his eyes. Like Troy these fuckers left me with a lot of anger.

“Troy,” Julius continued. “You’re dealing with the Vice Kings.”

Troy shook his head. “Not a chance.”

Julius took a step forward. “Fuck you say?” he asked it but it sounded more like a threat.

“Anyone but them,” Troy shrugged.

Julius leaned back. “You scared of going against Benjamin King?”

Johnny motherfucking Gat with his frosted tips came swaggering forward. “Man, fuck that, I’ll take King out.”

Julius shook his hand at him. “Johnny, it’s not that simple.” 

“Bullets still kill muthafuckas, right? Doesn’t get much simpler than that.”

And that, my friend, is Johnny Gat in a nut shell. Shoot, kill, done.

Julius looked at Dex. “Keep an eye on your boy.”

From the way everyone acted with Dex and Johnny I always assumed they had a thing going on. But Johnny wouldn’t ever talk about it after Dex well, pulled a Dex. And Aisha… I never got around to asking her about the two men.

Gat took a step forward. “I don’t need a fucking babysitter, Julius.”

Julius ignored him. “Keep an eye on ya boy,” he said coldly.

Dex nodded once. “Who’s got the Rollerz?”

“I do,” a smooth, female voice said. An Asian woman, in a crop top and… blue pants, walked up to Julius.

“Lin? The fuck you wearing blue for?” Gat asked seemingly over his little spat with Julius.

Lin… She was… well she was fucking hot. I’m not saying that because she was a ‘busty Asian’. I didn’t think of her as that. Though I often thought about her busty t—not the point.

The point is she was an amazing woman when I met her. She was so… compassionless. She was the first person who could kill people like I did and be unaffected by it. And fuck that was hot.

Julius sighed before answering. “I asked Lin to hook up with the Rollerz. We don’t know much about these fuckas, so I wanted one of us on the inside.”

Some douche laughed. “I didn’t think the Rollerz pimped hos,” he laughed. He was silenced by Lin’s fist breaking his nose.

“Any other comments?” she asked the rest of the group.

Gat raised his hand. “Yeah, when you punch, don’t throw your shoulder so much.”

She scoffed. “Shut up, Johnny,” she said in a tone that suggested this wasn’t the first time he said something among that line.

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Gat shrugged.

Julius rolled his eyes and turned to me. “Once we’re done here go talk to one of these guys. They’ll have something for you to do. It’s our time now. Let’s get this shit started.”


	2. What the Fuck Gat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Playa continues her path in taking over the Row, with the help of one Johnny Gat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was almost posted like four days ago but when I formatting the text I was doing some edits. I saved the chapter as a draft and it was eaten by the internet. So I had to rewrite like a thousand words. So that was fun.

Julius gave me drug trafficking. ‘Get some cash flowing into the row’ he said. ‘You’ll enjoy it’ he said. I drove up to this place to find some white guy unloading bullet after bullet into this poor mutilated body screaming about revenge. As a woman I learned if a man, especially a white one, is screaming and shooting a gun, run away from him.

However, I fought my instincts and approached the man.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN STEAL FROM ME?" Reload. "YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING ROB ME?!" Reload. "YOU STUPID. FUCKING. BACKSTABBING. PIECE OF SHIT!" Reload. 

He looked up at me. "Hey, what’s up?" he asked calmly. "Sorry ‘bout the mess. Billy here," gunshot, "thought it would be a good idea to skim off the top and well..." gunshot, "let’s just say he was wrong. Are you here looking for work? Billy," gunshot, "used to watch my back," gunshot, "on deliveries but I don’t think he’s gonna make it in today. You make sure my deals go smoothly; I cut you in on the action…. What do ya say?"

Fuck you Julius motherfucking Little.

I nodded. 

He smiled slightly. "I’m Tobias. What’s your name?"

I raised my eyebrow at him. Dude… just no.

"Fine, no names. My van’s behind you. I’m driving."

The van was what you’d expect from a stoner. It was blue and pink and red and yellow. It had a peace sign on the back door.

Almost as soon as the van got on the road, we were being chased by the Los Carnales. As I fired at the cars behind us, Tobi started yelling and cheering. "Woo! I feel alive!" He stuck his head out of the window and howled.

It didn't take long before we were at the first deal. "Jessie! Hey man, you just want the usual?"

The man nodded. "Awesome. You’re a life saver." The drugs exchanged hands and we were back on the road.

Nothing exciting happened for the next two deals. Tobias screamed. I killed some people. The car almost burst into flames. Nothing special.

When Tobi got back into the van, he smiled and put his hand on my thigh. "You’re pretty awesome, you know that?"

I glared at him.

"I bet we could make some real pretty babies."

I pulled my gun out and pointed it at his dick with my eyebrow raised.

"Hey, okay, okay no touching I got it. I know you were the right gang to work with. Didn’t want one with sluts in it you know? That's why I chose the Saints, cause I figured if any gang was gonna get me right with the Lord with was gonna be you guys. I really believe that."

My eyes narrowed as his speech went on.

He pulled the van over for one last drug deal. I made sure to jump out and follow, keeping an eye out for anyone looking like a Vice King.

"Tim-Tim! Looking for some Fairy Dust?" The men discussed their numbers and a deal was made. 

Tobias held his arms out as he walked back towards me. "My girl! That is the last of the drug I've got! And here is your cut." He handed me a small duffel bag of money. "Now if you ever want to get back into the game let me know. Or if you just want to have a good time, I'm down for that too!"

I shot him in the leg. 

"MOTHERFUCKER!" 

"The Saints thank you for your business but have declined further ventures."

"THE FUCK'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

I shot the man in the chest once more before turning towards the road. It was about half a block later that my phone started ringing. 

"Hey man, it's Gat. If you think clearin' out the Row was fun, find me at the church... you're gonna love what I got planned for the Vice Kings." 

Time to find another car. Fuck.

Forty minutes later, I walked into one of the back rooms of the church. Johnny was sitting behind the desk with his feet up, Dex was standing beside him.

"Take a seat, man," Gat said gesturing to a chair. 

I grabbed the chair, spun it around and straddled it, facing the boys.

"So you’re Julius’ new girl, huh? You don’t look like much. Then again I don’t look like I have an eight inch cock, so I guess we’re both full of surprises."

You’re full of an eight inch cock, Johnny? Wow.

"The Vice Kings are named after one guy: Benjamin King. That shit don’t happen unless you’re a professional or badass, and in King’s case, he’s both." Johnny phone started ringing. "Hold up I gotta take this." He pulled his phone out.

"Aisha, what a pleasant fucking surprise. Whoa, slow down." He pulled the phone away from his ear. "Okay that’s not slower, that’s louder…. Shit, where’s she headed? Don’t worry I got this."

"What’s up?" Dex asked.

Johnny sat back in his chair and stared at the dark-skinned man. "Some mother fucker’s grabbed Aisha’s sister right off the street."

Dex shook his head. "Shit man. That’s the sixth girl this month. We know who’s doing this?"

"Yeah, the Vice Kings," Johnny spoke as he stood. 

"No way, man, kidnapping ain’t King’s style."

"Maybe that slut Tanya is goin’ behind King’s back. Don’t know, Don’t fuckin’ care. Aisha said they were driving a yellow sedan." He glanced at me.

"Tail those bitches back to wherever they go and get those girls back!" He slammed on the desk.

It wasn’t hard to find said yellow sedan. In fact it drove right in front of the church as I got into newly obtained car. Tailing people was something I did a lot of working for the military. Well it was mostly after but that’s not the point. It was mostly a waiting game. If you could wait it was easy. Lucky I had the patience of a Saint. 

We wound up in the Red light district. Outside of some boring storage building. The Vice King got out of the car, and forcefully pushed Aisha’s sister out. He pointed a gun to her head and pushed her into the building.

I slowly drove closer, carefully scoping out the building. I could feel the familiar tug of blackness in my head. The urge to let it take me was strong but I knew if I did I’d be the one to kill Aisha’s sister. So I fought it. I bit the side of my cheek and let the pain ground me instead of take control of me.

I pulled my gun out as I slammed the heel of my foot into the door. I heard someone scream about 'the bitches' before the firefight started. Three Vice Kings were in the room. I shot the closest one in the chest before jumping behind a crate. The other two were similarly behind cover. It took a few shots, my shoulder was grazed with a bullet, but I managed to clip one in the leg, causing him to drop his gun.

The remaining man screamed as he tried to rush me. Thankfully he ran at me in a straight line so I easily shot him once in the chest, knocking him down. 

Slowly I made my way deeper into the warehouse, collecting any ammo I could get my hands on. 

The hideout wasn't very thought out. It was practically a straight line to the locked room where the women were hidden. 

"Is someone out there?" a woman yelled. "Please someone help us!"

I put my pistol to the lock ready to fire. Although I hesitated. This could hurt them. Shit. They were probably scared shit-less as it was. "…" I took a deep breath. "Girls? Can you hear me?" I asked softly.

It was quiet for a few beats. "Who’s there?"

"I’m a friend. I want to help you but the door’s locked. I need you girls to get away from the door, away from the lock, so I can shoot it out. Do you understand?"

"Who are you?"

"I’m a friend of Aisha." I’d never met the woman. All I knew at the time was that Aisha was a singer, and that somehow she knew Johnny Gat. Later she became one of my biggest regrets.

There was some shuffling. "Okay we’re out of the way."

I waited for a moments before pulling the trigger. The girls screamed as the gun went off. I pushed the door open, taking the time to hide my gun in my waistband behind my back. With my head ducked lower, I smiled at the three women in the room. "Come on girls. Let’s get you outta here," I spoke softly.

It took an hour to drive the three woman to their houses. It didn't feel right leaving them on the side of some random road. Aisha's sister came with me to the church.

As we entered the church the sound of arguing echoed though the empty pews. 

"God, you haven’t changed at all, have you?" a woman spoke with a raised voice. 

Gat leaned back in his chair as she got closer. "Not all of us have a couple of million dollars to make changes."

"It’s always the same shit with you," she snapped as she sat down.

Johnny threw his hands up "OH, here we go again."

"What did you want me to do? Did you expect me not to take my shot?"

"No," he said leaning forward again. "I expected you to remember where you came from."

Aisha slammed and the table and stood up. Gat stood up along with her. "Oh fuck you Johnny!" 

"Fuck me? Fuck you! You’re the one who ran off to be famous! The only time you remember who we are is when you want something."

"My sister was kidnapped."

"And I brought her back didn’t I?"

"No, she did," Aisha remarked pointed at me. Oh so they did notice we were in the room.

"Bullshit! I told her to do it," he glanced at me. "No offense."

I shrugged. 

"Look, if you’re gonna help me, help me, but don’t you dare try to hold it over me."

"Fine."

" _Fine_."

" _Fine_!"

The two glared at each other for a few beats before Aisha walked towards her sister. 

"Thank you for saving her. I don't even want to think what would have happened if you didn't." 

I gave the woman a nod, thinking of my own little sister. 

"Clearly you already know who the fuck she is. Tonight we're killing her," Johnny spoke as quietly as the man could.

My eyes widened and I gawked at the woman.

"Aisha?" her sister asked, looking back and forth between me and Johnny.

"He’s being melodramatic," she said to her sister quietly. "See, I’m signed with Kingdom Come Records."

Johnny nodded. "And it’s no secret that the label is owned by the Vice Kings."

"But the real deal is once you’re in you can’t get out. They rip you off left and right, and they extort you to stay signed. I’ve talked to Johnny and he said that you might be willing to help me."

I nodded.

"Check it out. Eesh has a recording session in a few minutes. That’s when we make her disappear and give the Vice Kings a ‘fuck you’ while we’re at it. I want you to take Aisha to her session but on the way stop at the chop shop to have your ride loaded up with some C4. Park the car at the studio and get the hell outta there. Eesh, make sure someone sees you before you jump out."

She gave a sigh of relief. "Johnny I really appreciate—"

He waved his hand at her. "Whatever, I was gonna blow that place up anyway."

The two of us got in the car and headed towards the chop shop.

"So… are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around the Row."

I gave her a vague hand wave. It was complicated.

She nodded. "Does Johnny talk about me at all?"

I shook my head. 

"Oh."

I pulled into the chop shop parking lot.

"You don’t talk much do you?"

"If I can help it."

Aisha nodded as though she understood.

"None of this would have happened if I didn’t sign up with Warren," she sighed as we pulled into the chop shop.

It didn't take the man long to rig the car up. As he handed me the keys, he looked me in the eyes. "Make sure you're careful in this thing. One wrong move and something might give out." 

I nodded, sliding into the drivers seat. Aisha took her seat, and we were on the road again.

"You know I grew up around here," she muttered as we hit the highway. "It hasn't changed much but every time I come back here it feels different. Like somehow it's this new place that I've never been. I know it has to do with me. Johnny's always hated that I signed with the Vice Kings, but I really think it was the best decision I've made in my life. You know, my parents died when I was young, so I've been raising my sister since I was a kid. I got her out of this life. She's not turning tricks on the street to get a meal like I did at her age. Hell she's on her way to college now." Aisha sighed. "I'm sorry I'm talking your ear off aren't I? You're such a good listener I forgot myself."

"I wish my relationship with my sister was as good as yours," I said as I pulled up to the record label. "That's a conversation for a different day though."

Aisha looked at me for a moment. "You're one of the good ones."

I smiled at her.

She got out of the car and rushed into the building. After a few moments, I quickly got out of the car and took off towards the parking lot. Hot wire cars wasn't my best skill but I needed this to go quietly so I took the extra time to get it done right.

I watched the building from the new car waiting for Aisha. What felt like half an hour, later she was getting into my car. "Drive," she yelled as she landed in the backseat. I chuckled as I raced away from the building. Seconds later the entire thing started crumbling.

"Holy shit. That was insane," Aisha laughed from the backseat.

I let out a snort. "That's a bit of a fucking understatement." 

Aisha's eyes widened and stared at me. "Oh now you talk." 

I shrugged. 

"Johnny got me a safe house on the other side of town. You mind driving me there?" Aisha asked. 

I nodded.

"Thank you."

Aisha stared out of the window as I made my way onto the highway.

"Hey, before we blew me up you mentioned a sister. You said we'd talk later about it."

I focused on the road. My relationship with Cassie was always complicated. "I haven't spoken to my sister in about... four years. She's four years younger than me. Our parents always favored our little brother. He was the prince of the house. So I took over with Cassie. She was more my daughter than our parents." 

I quieted while I merged into another lane. "Hadn't talked them since I shoved a gun into my father's throat while my mother begged for his life. I'll never forget the way his brain splattered against the floor best night of my life. "

Aisha glanced at me. "What did he do to deserve that?"

"He killed my dog." 

Aisha smiled. "Most dogs are better than people."

The remainder of the ride was a comfortable silence. Once we arrived at the safe house Aisha stared at me. "I know you aren't a bad person, even though I don't know much about you. Fuck I don't even know you're name. But you're a good person. I respect the hell out of you. I know you're trying to push me away. But I'm like some kind of fucking glue you can't get rid of me."

I looked at Aisha. "Thank you." 

She patted my thigh. "You're welcome. Get some rest girl, you look tired." She got out of my car and made her way into the house. 

I decided to heed Aisha's advice and went home for the night. After I smoked a litt bit of weed and drank a little bit, I laid down and passed the fuck out. 

Johnny Gat sent me a message at four, telling me to meet up at Freckle Bitch's. 

My entire life knowing Johnny Gat there have been two constants. One, Johnny Gat loved violence and two, Johnny Gat loved Freckle Bitch's. I fucking hated the place. It was too fucking greasy. The shit was overpriced. Half the shit I could have fucking made better. 

"I know you’re supposed to be dead and all but do you have to look so pissed?" Johnny's voice carried as to me as I got out of my car. 

"Johnny, you said you’d take me out to dinner." Aisha complained. 

"And here we are."

"At Freckle Bitch’s?"

"Where else would we go?" he asked leaning forward.

"’Someplace good? Why couldn’t you have just taken me to Mikano’s? 

"Aisha it’s not like…" he saw me walking up. The two were sitting at an picnic table. "Hey, what’s up? You have perfect timing."

Aisha scoffed. "You two talk, I’ll be back."

Johnny shook his head as she walked away. "Whatever, she don’t appreciate fine dining. Now I’ve been talkin’ to Eesh’s sister. Turns out, Tanya’s been fucking people in every sense of the word. Not only is she blowin’ King’s bodyguard Big Tony, but she’s fuckin’ Warren Williams, their numbers guy, whenever Tony ain’t lookin’. Between tony and Warren the only person she isn’t leading around by the cock is King. So I’m thinking you put the hurt on Tanya, we’re fuckin’ up the Vice Kings.

"She’s got an operation in prawn court, that’s where we’ll start. Roll in there and put the murder on anyone you see, customers included. Who wants to die for a blowjob right?" he chuckled. "When you go for Tanya, be careful, she’s probably got some muscle in there."

I stared at him for a few moments, absorbing what he just said, before nodding and taking a step back.

"Hey, Eesh’s sister also told me that you spoke to the girls."

I glanced over my shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What? You only talk around women?"

I chuckled before walking away. 

The brothel in Prawn court had four Vice Kings patrolling its perimeter. I could spot the bright yellow cars a mile away. I drove opposite the direction the patrol was going and took out two of the drivers with ease. 

I flew past the cars, glancing into my review I saw one of the Vice Kings turn around.

"Shit." I groaned as I looked into the rear view mirror as the closest car sped up. I leaned out of my window, taking aim at the driver. He floored it, slamming into the back of my car. I slammed back into the driver's seat, fighting to take control of the car.

The Vice King slammed into me again, causing me to spin out. I aimed haphazardly at the driver and shot a few times. At that point I made a split second decision. Slamming on the gas, I raced towards the last Vice King's car.

Now, with all of my stupid decisions, slamming into a Vice King's car at fifty miles per hour, was one of the worst. I always wore my seat belt, but the air bags that slammed into me knocked me the fuck out. The Vice King flew out of his windshield. landing on the ground behind my car.

I was out for a few minutes. When I came to, my ears were ringing. the world was spinning. I groaned, pushing the air bag away from me. My fucking head hurt. My nose was bleeding. I ran my hand around the door, looking for the handle.

I shoved the door open, grabbing my gun as I got up. The third Vice King was helping the last VK into his car. 

The man in yellow looked at me, as I approached. "Please. This war isn't worth dying for. All I ask is that you just please let us g--" 

I fired two quick shots of. One in the head of the man standing, and the second in the man half on the ground. They were both dead before they landed. I fell to my knees. Gagging back the rising vomit, I leaned against my car. 

"Motherfucker. " I groaned the waves of nausea faded. I slowly stood up, leaning heavily on my car.

Outside the Brothel looked like shit. If I was gonna run a brothel that shit’d be nice. Marble arches, mahogany doors, clean carpets, velvet couches, high class outfits for my ladies. All of the ladies would be healthy too and they’d be well treated. It’d be the best damn brothel. Although seeing as this was Stillwater the last thing you’d expect to be clean was the brothels. But I digress.

The entrance was lined with pictures of what I could only assume were the sex workers that worked here. Past the entryway were two large, arching staircases covered with carpet. The entire upstairs was carpeted. It was only once you got to the rooms that you realized that you were in Stillwater. The beds were full of holes and bodily fluids. The wall paper was falling off. The carpet was all stained. It was just disgusting. 

Four Vice Kings stood in the lobby. They had heard the gunfire and were ready for me. Thankfully I had my shotgun ready. I let out three shots, two of them were close enough that one shot took both out. I doubted the were dead, but they were down, and once I took the guns away from them I figured they would be useless.

When I was a teenager, my father had found out about my... relationship with my best friend Sammy. He had kicked me out of the house and with nowhere to go I joined the military. Long story short, I was use to clearing out enemy bases. Typically with a small group of people, but later on in my career I learned how to do it myself.

With trained precision, I entered each room, scanning around the room with my gun raised. Most were empty. There were a few with a Vice King, mounted on a prostitute, I would shoot twice, taking him down. usually with the woman left alive. I didn't consider it a loss if she was dead.

The upper level had even fewer Vice Kings, however they were ready for me. I entered the last room, scanning quickly when the door flew back at me. I barely kept the gun in my hands. The Vice King tried to rush around the door, grabbing my gun by the barrel. Narrowly, I got a shot off before he got the gun away. One shot though his neck knocked him over.

The woman screeched when I looked at her.

"Calm the fuck down. This establishment is under new management. You gals are gonna be treated well with the Saints, but if you want to get out now's the time to do it. Spread the word."

The woman stared at me, wide-eyed.

I fired off a shot. "Get the fuck out of here!"

She screamed again and took off in a sprint.

I strapped my shotgun onto my back once more, and made my way towards the stairs. My ringtone broke the silence.

"Playa, you got that brothel cleared out yet? Never mind. I knew you'd get it done. I think you should take some time for yourself. Dex had some plans that I want to over see, so you aren't going to be needed for a few days. Take some time. Get you're nails done."

I snapped my flip phone shut. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. The worst fucking part of being an addict trying to keep clean was the fucking boredom. If I stay distracted, if I never think about how fucking good heroin feels, I'll never touch the stuff.

The thing about drugs is a lot of people start taking them to avoid something. Because feeling nothing is better than feeling something. When I alone, I start fucking thinking, and I start fucking feeling things. and it hurts and I start craving the shit again.

To make matters worse is it felt inevitable. Like no matter what the fuck I did it was like I knew it was gonna happen. 

"Hiya baby girl." She smiled as I opened the door.

"I hate that."

"Well too bad you called me."

Angie was a short white woman. Her long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. She pushed passed me and set up on my couch, her bag on my coffee table.

"How much you want babe?"

"How much you got?"

Angie's smile widened.

It had been a few days since I cleared out Tanya’s Brothel… although I suppose it was our brothel at that point. I didn't talk to any of the Saints. I didn't even fucking leave my apartment. The entire fucking weekend either high out of my mind or drunk as fuck.

The hang over didn't stop the current bullets flying at me. The police had started pressuring us after taking over Tanya’s brothel. We were gonna lay low, up until the Vice Kings tried to take back the territories we took from them.

Now, I was hiding behind my car, firing through my windows, tryin’ to get these fuckers off of my back. Just as a fuckin’ grenade was tossed my way, Johnny Gat called me. I held the phone to my ear as I leaped for the hand grenade.

"I hope you’re not cashed, we got more work to do." I tossed the grenade seconds before it exploded. "Was that an explosion? What are you doing over there? You know what it doesn’t matter. Just get to the church. Troy got a tip that Tanya’s setting up shop in Sunnyvale. I talk to Julius; he gave me the okay to go in with a crew. I’ll be at the church getting strapped."

I put the phone away. Quickly, I jumped through my car’s passenger door, and took off towards the church.

Johnny Gat had twenty different guns in front of him when I walked in. He was testing out a bat as he looked up at me. "Good thing you’re here, I was about to leave without you." He gave the bat a few more swings. "I don’t think I’m feelin’ the bat today." He put the bat down. "This is always the hardest part for me… ya know?" he grabbed one of the pistols. "Balancing stopping power with personal enjoyment." He tucked the gun in the back of his pants. He also grabbed a switch blade before pausing. "Oohh, yeah. I’m feelin’ this," Johnny marveled as he picked up a shotgun. "It ain’t gonna be easy clearin’ all those VKs outta the station, so I told my crew to meet us there. Let’s ride."

Johnny Gat scared me. No scratch that. I’ve known Johnny Gat for almost a decade and Johnny motherfucking Gat will forever scare me. I thought I drove like a maniac. Johnny drives on the fuckin’ sidewalk. Hell he’ll ram into cars because they ‘were movin’ too slow.’

So let me say one more time Johnny Gat terrifies me.

We were swerving into the opposite flowing lane when Gat started talking to me. "After we’re through with this whore I wanna find Big Tony, you listen to Julius talk about the guy and he makes it sound like the dude’s built like a fuckin’ APC…. I’m lookin’ forward to takin’ him apart," Gat smiles.

I, meanwhile, tried not to vomit in Gat’s car and also ignore the screams and thuds and other mayhem that Johnny is causing.

When the car finally stopped moved, I fell to my knees and praised the Lord that I was still alive. Well…. I didn’t, but I swear to god that I have never been more relieved to get out of a car.

We got out of the car shooting. Johnny, being himself, drove right into the thick of the Vice Kings, running into a few, before stopping the car. 

The abandoned Police station looked like… well what you’d expect an abandoned police station would look like in a town run by gangs. Spray paint was on every wall in sight. The windows were broken, paper and condoms littered the floor. Not to mention the Vice Kings. I’m pretty sure just having one on the lot lowers the real estate value permanently.

Johnny and I stuck together as we worked through the station. Johnny wasn’t as reckless as I thought he would be. he did take a lot more damaged than I did. However that might be because I was trained not to get hit.

We got upstairs when Gat ran off in front of me. We had Tanya cornered. I didn’t notice the big burly black man behind me before I was hit with the butt of a rifle. 

Now I was unconscious during this conversation, but Johnny filled me in on the details. 

"How about you drop the gun, honey?" Tanya smirked. 

"If I were you," Big Tony boomed in his rich, alto voice. "I’d listen to the lady."

Johnny leered over his shoulder at Tony. "Well of course you would, you bein’ her bitch."

Tony shoved the gun at Johnny. "What your fuckin’ mouth."

Johnny let the gun fall and put up his hands. "Hey, no reason to be hostile."

Tony watched Gat for a few moments before taking the pistol out of the back of his pants. He tossed the gun at Tanya.

"You packing anything else?" she asked.

He smirked. "Just some rubbers, I was hopin’ I could get some of Williams’ sloppy seconds," he shrugged.

At this point Tony slammed the butt of his gun into Johnny’s back. Gat fell to his knees, curling into himself. 

"Guess I hit a nerve," he muttered.

"Do yourself a favor, stay the fuck down and shut the fuck up," Tony practically growled. "You Third Street mothafuckas think you so smart. Well check this out, we ain’t impressed. Hell, the only reason you got as far as you did was ‘cause King let you. We led you right to where we wanted you, and now the police are gonna finish your ass for good, just the way we planned."

Johnny sat up as best he could. "Well that explains how your bitch lost Prawn Court."

When I came to, I was so fucking dizzy it knocked me over, and I was lying down. My head was throbbing, the room was spinning. I still couldn't fucking move.

Tanya started waving her gun around. "Are you gonna let him talk about me like that?"

Tony cocked his gun. "Don’t worry baby I got this."

Johnny stood up. "Yeah, Tanya, shut the fuck up."

"I thought I told you to be quiet."

Johnny shrugged. "I got shitty hearing."

Tony pointed his shotgun at Gat’s leg and fired. Johnny fell to the ground with a scream. 

"Now you got a shitty leg."

Gat pulled out his switch blame and jabbed it into Tony’s calf. "So do you," Gat said before tackling the man to the ground. "GO NOW!" Johnny yelled at me.

I forced myself off the ground and charged towards the window. This was gonna hurt. I knew it was gonna hurt. I knew that hitting the window would hurt, that landing the glass on whatever below it would hurt. What I didn’t know was that losing Gat was gonna hurt. I had never left behind a partner before. Not that I ever worked with many people, but Gat… it hurt.

I grabbed the first car I could find and got back to the Row. Julius called me as I got out of my car. 

"Hey playa. One of Johnny’s crew got out of there in time and told me what went down. If the cops are working for the Kings, you gotta get off the streets fast. Hurry up and get back to the church. We’ll figure a way to get Jonny back home."

I put my phone away just as the sirens started. It was a long fucking trip back to the church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to like slowly introduce more of her back story but I'm sure at some point it's just gonna go full blown blast from the past. One day you'll even get her name.


	3. The King is Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The VKs are taken out at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is semi graphic drug use. Once again I added a break before and after. I did my best for someone who has never used anything stronger than a pill in my life.

After a long run from the police and one more destroyed car, I got a motorcycle and walked to the Church. I made my way to Julius' office. Aisha, Dex and Julius were talking among themselves.  
  


“You think it’ll work?” Aisha asked.

“It has to.” Julius glanced at me. “Sit down.”

I plopped down into the chair, not really caring how it looked. I was just fucking exhausted. The day was fucking long. The fucking cravings were kicking up too. My hand was shaking again.

“We got a way to rescue Johnny.”

Dex leaned forward. “The shit Johnny said about Warren and Tanya really got to Tony. Now, the only time she’s allowed out of his sight is when she’s checking on the rebuilding of the recording studio.”

“Every day that bitch gets driven to the construction site in a limo, then she sneaks off to get her freak on with Warren before she goes home to Tony. While she’s busy suckin’ cock, you deal with the chauffeur and take his place. When she’s down wiping her mouth, she’ll have you drive her back. Once you’re at Tony’s it’s up to you.”

Gross. That was an image that I really didn’t want in my head. I shook my head with a sigh.

“Please bring Johnny back. Just don’t tell him I was worried," Aisha whispered

The doe eyes Aisha was giving me tore me apart. I had a sweet spot for Aisha. Shit. She was straight. I respected that. Plus, I think Gat would skin me alive if I tried to take Aisha away from him. Even though he’s not gonna tell her that he loves her.

I nodded as I stood. I patted her back as I walked away. Behind my back, Aisha walked over to the alter. She lit two candles that she must have brought, and bowed her head.

I sat in the limo staring at the construction site waiting for Tanya to get back out. When she finally did, I, being a good little chauffeur, got out of the limo and opened her door for her

“Well, I got some time to kill before Tony expects me back. Might as well do a little shopping,” she said as she got into the car.

I listened carefully to everything she said with mild interest. She didn’t really seem to mind that I didn’t talk back. In fact, she did enough talking for both of us. I drove her to a clothing store. She ran inside, buying herself some new dress or whatever. She returned to the car. "Take me to Friendly Fire. I want to buy Tony a new gun."

With a nod, I started driving towards the nearest Friendly Fire.

Tanya spoke some more as I drove. I tuned her out. I didn't dislike Tanya. She talked too much but more people did. She seemed like she could have been likable under different circumstances. It was always easier to imagine that the people you were gonna kill or the people that you hated were the bad guys. It was so easy to pretend that they were the evil ruin the world types. That being said most people were more than good or bad. They're people. Tanya was a human person that I was going to murder with extreme prejudice.

We arrived at Friendly Fire and she once again ran into the store.

Just as she entered the store, I got a phone call. “Hey playa,” Julius said. “We got a problem. Some of Troy’s crew didn’t hear the plan, and decided they were gonna hit Tanya when she was in her limo. These are our boys. I don’t want them gettin’ hurt."

Well fuck.

After a few moments, she came back. "Did you know they gift wrap?" she asked. “Take me to 707 Springfield.”

We went about two blocks before purple cars showed up. Tanya started screaming about the Saints and getting her out of there.

I learned two things this day. The first thing was I really was a good fucking driver. I was taking curves like a motherfucker. Drifting this way and that way, I made Vin Diesel look like a grandma the way I was owning the streets.

The second thing was The Saints were shit fucking drivers. They all drove like Johnny Gat. Not to mention that they had one person in each car. Two cars were fucking chasing me. And they couldn’t fucking aim and drive in a straight line.

I didn’t even fire off a shot and these two idiots wrecked their own cars trying to keep up with me. That was something I was going to have to talk to Troy about. It wasn't hard to lose these guys without shooting at single tire out. Soon enough they were off my back and we were at 707 Springfield.

“I better tell Tony about this…” Tanya muttered.

I followed behind Tanya, carefully and quietly. When she got to her apartment building. I snuck up on her. As she unlocked the door, I brought the butt of my pistol down on her head. She hit the ground out cold.

I should have fucking killed the bitch. However, and I'll never say this is a fault, I am overly sympathetic to woman being controlled by men. It's been a problem in my life.

Tucking my pistol in the back of my pants, I pulled my rifle around and hunkered down. The entire place was filled with VKs, not to mention the fucking coked up tank that was Big Tony.

As I entered the apartment, three VK's started shooting. I ran into the apartment and jumped behind the kitchen counter. I took the easy way out and chucked a grenade over the counter. The exploitation took out the Vks, and knocked out the other few. As I fired off the few Vks, taking them out, Big Tony rounded a corner with Johnny Gat as a human shield.

"This is how this is gonna go down," Big T said. "You're gonna put your guns down, and I'm not gonna kill you. Or you fuckin' try to kill me, and I take both you and Johnny boy out."

I nodded putting the assault rifle on the counter, raising my hands over my head.

"Good fuckin' job. Now walk towards me and get on your knees."

He had his gun trained on me the entire time I walked toward him.

Johnny looked up at me, his eyes boring into mine.

I gave him a slight nod.

Johnny let himself drop. Big Tony almost dropped the man, readjusting his one-armed grip. While he looked away, I pulled my pistol from my waistband and fired one shot though the man's head. He fell to the ground.

Johnny stared at him for a second before pulling my gun out of my hand and unloading the clip into him, and then for good measure, tossed it at him.

“That’s better…” Johnny stared at me. “I heard Big Tony say that he’s got some heavy shit in the back. I’ll have some of our boys roll on over and bring the hardware back to the crib.”

I nodded.

Johnny started limping towards the door. Without a word, I walked into the bedroom, then into the closet. I was looking for the one thing that almost every black man had. After some digging behind old church clothes, I found a walking stick.

I easily caught up to Johnny, he still was only halfway out of the apartment.

"Here."

He looked at me surprised. "I don't fucking need that."

"You're not gonna walk down stairs with that leg."

He glared at me. "Maybe I'll jump off the fucking balcony."

"Take the fucking cane Gat."

He shook his head and took it from me.

I followed behind the man carefully to the car. He started walking towards the driving's seat. I shook my head and jogged to the driver's seat.

"Oh, fuck you."

I stared at the man as I got into the car.

He slowly made his way to his passenger's seat.

Immediately and without any hesitation or remorse, I drove Johnny Gat to the fucking hospital.

"I'm not getting out."

"I will shove you out of this vehicle."

"Try it."

I stared at the mam. "Johnny you were shot in the leg, and left for two days. You have an infection that could kill you. Go get some help."

"Why do you care?"

I shrugged.

He scoffed and got out. "I'll fucking walk then."

I starting driving as soon as the door was shut. As I reached the edge of the parking lot, I glanced into my rearview mirror. The man was slowly walking into the hospital.

I shook my head and made my way back to the church. Julius was sitting in his office, looking at a map of Stillwater.

"Johnny's in the hospital."

Julius nodded. "Good. Meanwhile, I need you to go get kill some mothafuckers for me. The Saints were... advised that if we were to take out certain people that cash would come our way."

Julius handed me a file full of pictures of people and basic information about them.

"I'm trusting you." As he spoke, he's eyes meet mine. I knew this wasn't something I could fuck up and be alright with. Not that I would. A bunch of corrupt city council members had nothing on presidents and dictators.

I nodded once at Julius, and made my way out of the building. I had to take a trip to Friendly Fire. A sniper rifle would make things a lot easier. After about three stores, I found one with a gun that would do.

I looked over the list. The hard work had already been done. Addresses, schedules, and routes had already been tracked.

The first name one the list was a man named James Darrell. By the looks of it the man’s wife hired us to kill the man due to his affair. He was an architect of some fancy building being built. For the next few days, he would be on site.

I made my way to the construction site. It wasn’t hard to find him. I had a picture of him in my folder. But also, he walked like a pretentious asshole who owned the place so really, I even if I wasn’t sure I was going to kill him anyway.

I parked a street away. My gun perched on the trunk of my car. With slow carefully breaths, I aimed my gun at the man, following him. Eventually he stopped, clearly berating someone who was just trying their best. Thankfully he didn’t move much when he talked.

The woman was going to be traumatized. The man’s head popped like a balloon full of red paint. Before his body hit the ground, my gun was back in its case and tossed into the back seat. I jumped into my car and took off towards the next target.

The next was a young white man named Tommy. According to his file, he was still in college. Turns out he was working with his Chem teacher making meth and a heavy heroin user on the side. The problem wasn’t that he was making drugs. In another life he would have been hired by us. We didn’t have a good cook.

Tommy had started selling on the wrong side of the tracks. The wrong person stepped on the wrong toes and someone wanted someone dead.

Tommy wasn’t a very good student. He showed up late to classes and spent his nights getting drunk in the local bars.

* * *

I decided I would take him out a different way. I stopped by my dealer on the way to the college. With a fresh bag of dope, I found the man in the bar.

He was partying that night. Drinking and dancing, he was chugging beer after beer, shot after shot. I watched the man from the bar.

The man drunkenly walked to the bar. I smiled at him. “Nice moves over there champ.”

He smiled at me. “Oh yea?”

“Yeah, looks like you really know how to move.”

Tommy leaned against the bar facing me. “You wanna dance?”

“Absolutely.”

Tommy forgot about his drink and held out his hand. I took his hand and let him lead me to the dancefloor.

I wasn’t a big bar person. I definitely didn’t want to unless I was drunk. That being said I did my best to drunk dance against this man. He was fucking wasted. He stumbled standing still. His hands were too rough against my skin, his breath reeked of alcohol. I hated it. Thankfully the bar closed in twenty minutes

After the lights came on, Tommy leaned in close to my ear. “You wanna come back to mine tonight?”

“Only if I get to drive.”

He pulled away from me for a moment, looking me over. “I guess. You look more sober than I am.”

“Perfect.”

I held his hand, behind my back and lead out to my car. We got into the car, I put my seat belt on immediately.

“Where do you live?”

He lived in the apartment building on the second story. As we walked up to his room, I caressed his arms, trying to be sexy.

I didn’t mind men. I do mind men that thought I wanted to fuck them. That being said I didn’t mind pretending to be attracted to men to kill them. And it was so fucking easy. I’m sure it was some kind of psycological issue.

We walked into his apartment. I turned to face him. He reached out to me. “You want something to drink?”

“Sure, some water sounds good.”

“Alright, sounds good.” 

  
The man’s gear was sitting in plan sight on the table.

He walked back into the living room with two glasses of water.

”You use?” I asked with a glance at his gear.   
  


“Aw shit. Is that a problem?”

“Nah I— fuck I’d rather do that then fuck.”   
  


The man laughed. “Fuck yeah.”   
  


He rushes over to his gear and started preparing a needle.

”That a new needle?”   
  


“Fuck yes. I’m not stupid. Clean shit only.” 

He started flicking the needle, getting the air bubbles out of it.   
  


The man grabbed a belt, and looked at me. “You want this first?”

“I rather watch you first.”

  
Tommy nodded. He took the belt and wrapped it around his arm. 

  
I watched him slowly start fading out from his high.   
  


He pulled the belt off and laid back on the couch.   
  


“Get some this shit,” he slurred.   
  


“Oh I will.”

I took the needle from the man and started stroking his hair. The man was high as a kite.   
  


I didn’t even have to fight the man as I injected the needle back into his arm and plunged the rest of the heroin into his veins.   
  


Carefully I put the belt back around his arm, might as well make it look like an overdose. 

  
I walked to his bedroom, looking for shit to steal. All I found was a cheap rip off Rolex and another bag of dope.

When I came back into the living room, the man had puked on himself and was no longer breathing. I grabbed the second glass of water and took it back into the kitchen, dumping it out and drying it off before sticking it back into the counter.

“Oh no. Don’t die.” I spoke softly. I grabbed the keys Tommy had placed on the counter and gave the man one more quick glance before leaving.

Even if someone found him now it would be too late.

I locked the door behind me and continued on my way.

* * *

  
  


Johnny needed surgery, that week they cut his leg off and got him fitted for a fake leg. We were told that it was the only way to save his life.   
  


A doctor that was properly trained would have given him antibiotics and cut the dead flesh off. Not the entire still mostly functioning leg. But hey, that’s what you get in Stillwater.   
  


A month had passed. Julius had me doing side work, drug deals, escort deals, and even a few more assassinations. Mostly, however, I stayed in the church with him learning more about the running the gang side of things.   
  


Julius said that he saw something in me that told him he could trust me to make the hard choices and take over once he was gone. That’s good too cause Jules didn’t have much time left with us.   
  


Once, Johnny was out of the hospital we all met up in the church once more.   
  


“Dex, don’t worry I have a plan,” Gat insisted approaching the darker man.

“Johnny, your idea of a plan is taking the biggest hammer you can find and smashing whatever’s in your way,” Dex said from his perch on the desk.

“Well that sounds like a plan to me!”

“Yeah, a shitty one as, as your half of a limb clearly proves.”  
  


Right now, Johnny could barely walk on the thing. He mostly just hobbled.

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Next time you try that cowboy shit, you might not walk away at all.”

“Seriously, fuck. You.”

Is that some sexual tension I spy? Do I need to leave the room?

“Look I worked out a plan that will hurt the Kings, and put minimum risk on you.”

Johnny stared at him for a second. “How much murderin’ do I get to do?”

“None.”

Johnny turned away from him. “Your plan blows.”

Dex jumped off the desk. “Hear me out alright? King’s obviously got somethin’ goin’ on with the police. I’ll figure that shit out. In the meantime, I want you two to go out and cause some havoc. If we can turn the public’s eye to the Kings then the police won’t have a choice but to come down on them.”

“Okay, so we go and do some damage, how do the VKs get blamed?”

Dex grabbed a bright yellow shirt. “Put this on.”

Johnny shook his head. “I’m yellow enough as it is Dex.”

My head whipped over staring at Johnny. Later on I learned that Johnny was Asian, that his parents owned a Chinese food place even though they were from the Phillies. Johnny was a very white asian man. 

“Just put the damn shirt on!”

“Fine,” Johnny tossed the shirt at me. “Get dressed we got a little peace to disturb.”

The one fucking color I hate most was fucking yellow. I put the stupid shirt one and followed the boys out of the church.

“Don’t fuck with the Saint—… Vice Kings! Don’t fuck with the Vice Kings!” Johnny yelled out of the window as we sped from the market place. He sat back in the car. We had just killed at least twenty different shopkeepers and were currently outrunning to police. “Let’s go get a bulldozer. I have an idea.”

Johnny’s fun idea, was to take out one of the most beloved statues in Stillwater. The ducking thing was called ‘The Pride of Stillwater’ after all.   
  


The Pride of Stillwater was a statue of Richard Hughes holding the Earth on his back. Hughes was a corrupt mayoral candidate. He resorts to accepting and giving bribes. He was also an asshole who owned most of the city.   
  


All of that being said the people who didn’t rent from the fuck loved him because, ‘he told it like it is.’ Meanwhile half the shit that came out of his mouth was a lie. So of course I fucking drove that bulldozer down the street and took out his fucking dick monument. 

  
The next day I met with the boys again.

Dex and I were looking at a map of Stillwater. I still wasn’t quite sure what the markings on it meant but Dex seemed pretty confident.

“Okay,” Dex said. “It looks like the cops have been getting in on some of King’s protection rackets; that’s why they’ve been goin’ so easy on the VKs. We gotta go public with this shit. Now if we—.”

Gat put a large metal box on the map. “Don’t worry Dex, I have something more subtle in mind.”

Dex stared at him skeptically while he opened the box. “Johnny, you can’t be serious.” The box was full of RPG Missiles.

“Fuck yeah I am.”

“Where did you get these?” he sounded equal parts amazed and terrified.

“Anthony’s condo. He had a big mouth.”

Dex shook his head. “This isn’t gonna end well.”

Johnny waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t listen to him. I’ll drive to where the cops are picking up protection money, you make ‘em cease and desist with a few of Tony’s noisemakers. If we make sure the only cops, we hit are the one’s working for King, people gonna start asking questions and the cops are gonna have no choice but come down on the VKs to save face. Let’s do this.”

Johnny started walking out of the church on his crutches. I shrugged and started following him.   
  


“You too?” Dex called.   
  


I threw my arms up and left the building.   
  


“So, the other day Aisha was giving me shit because I don’t do anything nice for her. Can you believe that? I mean I’ve paid for her every time we go out, so I’m like ‘the hell you talkin’ about? I picked up the check at the firing range’ and then she goes on and on about dinner this, and flowers that. It’s fuckin’ bullshit right…?” Gat asked as he drove.

Yes, this is fucking bullshit. If your girl wants flowers go pay twenty fucking dollars to by her flowers. God Johnny you’re a fucking gangster, steal the flowers if you want. What I don’t understand, particularly about the men in gangs is they think because they’re big scary gang members that means they can’t treat their girl right and that’s bullshit. Your girl sits at home wondering what kind of wounds you’re going to come home with, if you come home at all, and you can’t buy her flowers. Yes Johnny, that’s fucking bullshit.

“Thanks for your advice man, you’re a big help,” he deadpanned.

I watched at him for a second. “You don’t deserve her if you won’t even buy her flowers,” I spoke softly.

His head whipped over to me. “Did you just… Seriously?! I pay for everything!”

“Have you asked her if she wanted to pay? No, you assume because you have a dick that you have to pay the fucking bills. Aisha’s a millionaire she can pay for a few dinners. Buy her some chocolate and buy her some fucking flowers. And not every girl wants to go to the firing range. Do things she likes, not just blowing shit up.”

He glared out of the windshield for a few seconds. “I liked you better before you talked,” he muttered.

“We’re coming up on one of the meetings.”

We blew everyone up at this meeting. It was easy, Johnny parked the car a few yards away. I shot a few missiles. People screamed. I laughed. Rinse and repeat. 

The next day I came into the church. I found a notepad on a table.

‘Out with Aisha. Take the day off, get high, get laid, whatever.

P.S. I got fuckin’ flowers.

Johnny’

“Where’s Gat?” Julius asked as he walked towards me. 

I handed him the notepad.

“Fuck! Listen carefully playa. Benjamin King just called. It seems like one of his boys got a big head and tried to take him out. He’s pinned down in the park right now and needs some help, what happens to King may not mean shit to you but him and me, we got history. I owe King from way back in the day, and he ain’t gonna eat it if I can help it. You’re gonna go out there and save his ass, understand?”

I stared at him for a few seconds.

“I ain’t fuckin’ around playa, you bring King back here safe. You feel me?”

Infiltrate, recover target, and get the fuck out of there. Got it.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t happy to save a Vice King, or more so the leader of the Vice Kings. It didn’t sit right with me. I’ve been fighting them for weeks now and suddenly I’m saving their leader? But I knew how to follow orders so I shut my emotions down and got the job down.

I came to trust Benjamin King. In years to come Benjamin King becomes the man that I called when I’m scared as shit and need someone to talk to. He’s the one I let see me become weak. I see Benjamin as a father of sorts. He was better than my real father. Benjamin expected great things from me, but he also respected me enough to know my own limits. I loved that bastard.

As I was driving Benjamin back to the church, he spotted Warren, the guy with the swollen ego. I ran him off the road and his car flipped. Benjamin seemed convinced that he was dead so we continued on our way.

Julius, Gat, Ben, and I were all sat around the table in the church. Sounds the intro to a shitty fucking joke. 

“Lookin’ good, Ben.”

Benjamin smiled. “Been a long time Jules.”

“Sorry about Anthony.”

Benjamin shook his head. “That was business, let it go.”

Johnny, bored of the small talked, leaned forward. “So, what’s the plan?”

Benjamin flashed him a small smile. “We kill Tanya and I get back to business.” Benjamin King was a man of few words.

“I don’t think so Benjamin,” Julius stated.

“What?”

“I said no. You’re alive, we straight.” Are you really Julius? Those sultry looks you were giving Benny there didn’t look straight. “But the Vice Kings? They’re through.”

“Then kill me, quit wastin’ my god damn time.”

Julius leaned back in his chair. “You got a choice. You can keep your fuckin’ pride and die right now, or you can be a man and walk away.”

Ben chuckled like this was all a big joke. “When did you get the balls, Jules?”

“What’s it gonna be?” Julius asked.

“I ain’t walking away.”

Julius stared at the man hard. “Fair enough. Johnny.”

In seconds Gat was on his feet with a gun pointed at Ben’s head.

Ben shook his head. “I ain’t walkin’ away until I deal with Tanya.”

Julius smiled. “My brotha.” Julius stood and clasped Ben’s hand before sitting back down. “Jonny put the damn gun down.”

Slowly Gat sat down.

Julius glimpsed back at Ben. “Now you understand this ain’t just about Tanya, right? We’re finishing the whole crew.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“So, let’s get to it. Plan?”

Ben leaned forward. “I know where all them fools hang. All we have to do is roll up in there, get their attention, then lead them to the cops. They’ll take care of the rest.”

Julius looked at me. “Alright playa, you’re gonna be Mr. King’s wheelman.”

“You ready for this?” Ben asked.

I gave one hard nod.

“Let’s go.”

As we were driving Ben tried to make conversation.

“So does Julius ever talk about growing up in Sunnyvale?”

I gave him a raised eyebrow.

“What, you thought he was from the Row?”

I shrugged.

“The problem with burying the past is that you forget about it, you know what I’m sayin?”

My head snapped to look at him. He wasn’t looking at me but I felt like he was talking about me. I forced my eyes back to the road.

“I bet Julius gave ya the whole ‘don’t care what flags they’re flying’ speech didn’t he?”

I laughed slightly.

“I wrote that shit years ago, and the motherfucker still hadn’t forgot about it…. You’re easy to talk to you know that. I don’t gotta worry about you interrupting me or any of that shit. That was Warren’s problem, that motherfucker never knew when to shut up and listen.”

Clearly he didn’t get beaten enough by authorities then.

“You know that even if you whip out the Vice Kings it ain’t gonna be over, right? There’s always someone lookin’ to take what you have. Some punk who wants to make a name for himself. Some girl that you fucked and never called back.”

The last girl I fucked and didn’t call back was my heroin dealer, I’m pretty sure she would have been too high to notice.

“The fact is once you’re in the game, the only way you’re getting’ out is if you’re dead or in jail.”

The worst part I think he’s telling the truth.

  
  


Ben had a penthouse on the other side of town. I dropped him off and made my way home for the night. 

  
In the Morning we picked it back up at the church. 

“I’ve been chatting with King, and it looks like Tanya’s takeover didn’t sit well with everybody,” Gat said from behind his desk. “The VKs are fighting amongst themselves: now’s the time to take ‘em out for good. King said he was gonna come along. I hope he hasn’t gone soft.”

King walked into the room. “Don’t ever worry ‘bout me baby-boy cause I’m gonna handle mine.”

Johnny did kinda look like a twink.

“All I’m sayin is that since you got here you’ve been nothing but talk.”

“I’ve smoked dozens of fools before. I ain’t addin’ to the count ‘less I have to.”

That makes one of us.

“That’s just fuckin’ great.”

King took a step towards Johnny. “I said don’t worry about it.”

“I just don’t want you bitchin’ out when you see your crew,” Johnny shrugged as he leaned back. 

  
King put his hands-on Gat’s desk. “Ain’t my crew, son. That’s why I’m here, remember? So how ‘bout you put your dick away, pick up your gun, and try to keep your knee away from bullets.”

Johnny started at the man. He stood. “You heard the cocky sonofabitch. Let’s go.”

  
I already fucking knew that I was going to have to listen to these two bicker the entire time I drove. 

  
I had a new car at this point. I was actually a pretty nice purple low rider. 

“If we wanna get to Tanya we gotta get the code to the elevator,” Ben said from the passenger seat. 

“How are we gonna get that?” Gat asked from the backseat.

“She tells everything to her fashion consultant; he shouldn’t be too hard to break.”

“Who is this guy?”

“Some Eurotrash mothafucker named Stefan.”

“I hate him already,” Gat muttered.

It didn’t take too long to get to Stefan. Gat went inside by himself and a baseball bat. Next thing I know, Gat is shoving the poor man into the back seat and I’m driving down the street with Stefan hanging by his ankles out of a window.

“Now you’re gonna tell me what I wanna hear, you understand?” Ben asked, he asked the man he was holding.

“Stefan knows about fashion not gangs!” the man yelled.

“Well, Stefan also knows about Tanya so you better start talkin’”

“I don’t know anything!”

Ben started shaking the man. “How do I get in the elevator?” Ben asked.

The man ignored him. “What are you doing?! I don’t like this; it makes me vibrate.

Ben shook his head. “Wrong answer. Kid, shake him up a little bit,” Ben said to me.

In the end the code was one, two, three, four. We dropped the man back where we found him and were on the road again.  
  


The pent house wasn’t impressive. We entered the building, awkwardly holding our guns by our sides waiting for the elevator.

Tanya was in a large office behind the desk. Her feet were propped up on said desk. “Some guys just never get enough of me,” she sighed as she put her hands behind her head.

“I’ve had more than my fill, bitch,” Johnny said.

“It’s over, girl. You’re not gonna be able to fuck your way out of this one,” King said with a shove of his gun.

Well. I mean… come on.

Tanya put her feet down. “That’s cute sweetie. That’s just precious,” she said as she pulled out a large rifle from under the desk. Ben unloaded his gun into her and the glass behind her before she even put her finger on the trigger.

She fell through the window, barely holding onto the sill.

“Please! Please don’t!”

“Oh Tanya, do you’re self a favor and die with some fucking dignity,” Ben said as he stepped on her fingers. Her screams where ended when she landed on my brand new fucking car.

Johnny and I approached the window. “That sucks for the car. We better get outta here. The cops will be here soon…” Johnny started walking away. “You coming?!”

I continued to stare at my car, holding back a scream. I loved that car. That car was the first one I legal bought and upgraded to last longer. The roof was gonna need to be replaced. The windshield was ruined. Not to mention the blood seeping into it.

I closed my eyes, counted backwards from ten. With a sigh, I opened my eyes and followed the men.

“Hey,” Johnny said when we reached the ground floor. “I know what you told Julius and all, but why don’t you stick around and roll with us. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you sticking around.”

“Don’t bet on that,” Ben said quietly.

Johnny shrugged as he glanced at me. “You think you can find a way back to the Row on your own? Aisha, you know, the pussy calls.”

I waved him off.

Ben and I watched as he walked away. “You did good in there, kid. Here, I don’t think I’ll be needing these anymore,” Ben said before tossing his… fuckin’ car keys.

With that, the Vice Kings were a thing of the past. They were the first gang I broke apart, but they sure as hell weren’t the last. Tanya, Warren, and Tony got power hungry. Benjamin lost the respect of his gang. They started acting out and he couldn’t reign them back in.

With a gang, you can’t become idle. The reason the Saints lasted so long is because we’ve had goal after goal. We’ve never stopped moving. First it was take over Stillwater, and then it was get Stillwater back, soon after we took over Steelport. The times we stopped trying to become bigger and better is when the gang got restless. Benjamin ignored this, he became stagnate, and due to that he was overthrown. That’s what caused the Kings downfall.


	4. The Death of a Saint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin and the Playa, start their journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The game really didn't leave much room to play with these two. I have more plans to get them closer. But these two are stubborn and hard to play with.  
> Also I'll be hella honest, I'm drunk so my reread might have left some typos. I'll fix her up when I'm sober.  
> *Edit* Don’t be like me. Reread the chapter before you post it when you’re sober. Even this note had dropped words and typos.

Johnny Gat took a few weeks off of gang duty, trying to learn how to use his new leg. Dex and Aisha were helping him. Of course I was so caught up in my own life that I didn’t check up on him. 

I took the weekend for myself. I got a new outfit, a black blazer and purple shirt with purple pants. I got my hair done, now it was spiky and bright red. And I cleaned the fuck out of my new penthouse. 

Turns out that Ben didn’t just give me his car keys but his house keys as well. The penthouse was nice. It had large winding stairs. A huge TV. A bed big enough for at least five people. A fully stocked bar and kitchen. The whole place was dope as fuck. However, I still took bleach to ever surface in the building and bought a new mattress because I didn’t trust that there wasn’t some kind of bodily fluid on them. 

Monday rolled around and I finally got a message. “This is Lin. Meet me at the arena parking lot, we gotta start making a move against the Rollerz.” 

I sighed as my weekend, sadly, came to the end. 

The Rollerz were a gang of mostly street racers. They were a pretty harmless group. Mostly they stole cars off the street, ripped them apart and built racecars. They really weren't hard to take down either. 

I arrived at the arena parking lot and found Lin talking with some Rollerz. 

“That’s a sweet ride, Lin,” some white dude said. 

“Uhuh.” Lin didn’t seem to be paying attention. 

Lin’s car was a… very pretty white and blue one. I didn’t know much about cars, but I seem to recall Lin telling me it was a Voxel. She also told me all kinds of shit about what was under the hood but honestly car jargon means nothing to me. She coulda said it has live snakes in it and that would have made more sense. 

“Who tuned it for you?” another man asked. 

“No one, I did it myself.” 

The first guy shook his head. “The spoiler looks like Donnie’s work.” 

“No way, that under glow screams Ricky Liu.” 

The first guy nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does.” 

Lin scoffed. “What is this, fuckin’ third grade?” 

The men stared at each other. “Whaddya mean?” 

She shook her head as she caught my eye. “Forget it, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

As the men walked away, one of them hit the other’s shoulder. “Dude, she totally wants you.” 

“Assholes,” she muttered. 

I got out of my car and approached her. 

“I swear to god, we’re not going to be able to kill these bastards fast enough,” she said as she pulled out a cigarette. “Aside from macho bullshit I haven’t heard much. The only interesting news I got is that a shipment of high-performance cars is coming in today. It’s not much. I know, so we’re gonna make the best of it. Jack the truck carrying the cars before it makes its delivery and take it to Samson. He’ll load up the cars with a few surprises, and then finish the delivery. Now get outta here before someone sees us.” 

Fuck I hated driving that truck. It was giant, and yes, I may have barely been tall enough to see over the steering wheel but that’s not the point. The point is I did what Lin asked. Maybe it’s because I was never train for the shit. But I hate semi trucks. 

The next few days it was radio silence from Lin, so I made the most of it by doing some more side jobs. Jules sent me to the Suburbs' District. Said that there was a guy down there that needed some stuff blown up. 

I arrived at the club that was made the meet up. As I entered the building a large man looked me over and approached me. "You Julius' kid?" 

I nodded.

"Reno wants to see you in the back." 

I followed the man as he walked to the back of the club. Reno was a very short black man. He had two women sitting by his sides. both of them hanging off of him like he was made of gold. 

"'Sup. I appreciate you commin' round on short notice. Got some shit that needs to be worked out." He pushed the women away and stood up. "Some cop just transferred to town and he ain't payin' me any respect. The bitch came in here runnin' his mouth tellin' me he was gonna put me out of business. What that Uncle Tom fucka didn't know, was I got a couple cops on the payroll and they told me the raid was tonight." He said pointing at the ground. "I want you to go out there and stir up so much shit the cops gotta look elsewhere...while they on yo' ass I can hide all the K. I know it sounds risky bro, but don't worry, you'll get hazard pay." 

Fuck alright. The dude gave me as much ammo I could carry and told me to go to the other side of town to blow shit up. 

I was never the type to enjoy blowing shit up just to do it. Sure, I wasn't emotionally competent most days but I didn't like hurting people for no good reason. If you were a shitty person yeah absolutely, I'll blow up you house or your boat. But these people were hard working, drug addled citizens. They weren’t hurting anyone. Why would I go out of my way to hurt them? 

That being said, I decided fuck it. I was going to take out banks and city buildings, hurt the people who could take it, and honestly fucking deserved it. I destroyed road signs, railways, sewage grates. I actually tossed a grenade into a manhole and had a shit ton of rain water fly up and hit the ground. At that point I was actually having fun with it. 

When Lin contacted me, she told me to meet her at a nightclub. I dressed in a tight black shirt, that showed off my stomach and chest nicely, and matching pants that hugged in just the right places.

I found Lin in the club almost right away. She pulled me into a darker corner of the dancefloor and pulled me close. We swayed with the music. I could hardly form coherent thoughts as she pressed her hips into mine. 

“You did good,” she said, just loud enough they heard her over the music. “But I’m not through with you yet.” 

Thank god. 

“Those cars you stole have been rigged to blow once the engine reaches a high enough temperature.” 

We spun around. Her hands tightened on my hips. 

“I need you to make sure those cars get nice and hot,” she whispered in my ear. 

“There’s a race going down in Chinatown,” she said as she pulled away. “I think you should give them some competition. I know those guys. If you’re in the lead for the final stretch, they’re gonna hit the nitrous to blow past you. When they do, boom. As soon as those cars are wrecked get the hell out of there. You’re no good to me dead.” 

“Good plan, however. I’m not a racecar driver.” 

She smirked. “It’s simple. Plus, those guys are all talk. Just keep the turns slow and tight,” she moved her hips against me slowly. “Remember, it’s better to go slow and not crash than to try to turn quickly and fail.” She took a step away from me. “Thanks for the dance. Now hurry up,” she slapped my ass. “You’ve got a race to win.” 

Again, I was left watching her as she walked away. 

Somehow, I managed to end up with Troy in my car. After having Lin grind on me this afternoon, the last thing I wanted to deal with was the white-trash that was Troy. 

“Hey man, let’s get to the race… Look. I don’t care what Lin says, you get me next to those cars and I’ll take care of the Rollerz, to hell with the lap-race bullshit.” 

I was torn, on the one hand Lin asked me to do it one way. On the other hand, I couldn’t race for shit. Plus taking them out with a gun would be easier. I knew that better as well. Fuck. 

“I don’t like the idea of Lin going undercover, you roll with people long enough, and pretty soon you start thinkin’ like them…” 

Of course, Troy would know this personally. 

For the rest of the drive I tuned him out. Actually, for most of our relationship I tuned Troy out. I focused on what Lin told me. Troy was pissed, he was yelling at me the entire time to slow down so he could taunt the other drivers, but in the final lap the other drivers took themselves out like Lin said they would. 

A week. That’s how long it took for Lin to contact me again. I wasn’t worried about her; I knew she could handle herself. But still… I didn’t like the waiting game so in the meantime I helped out some of Julius’s ‘friends.’ 

The first one was a white woman named Laura. 

“Hello,” the woman said as she walked out of her suburban house. “I’m sorry I’m in a rush. I have to pick up my youngest from school. Do you have kids? Who am I kidding,” she chuckled, “you probably have five.” She laughed like she was a big hoot. “Oh, never mind. Anyway, one of my colored friends was talking to me saying the real money isn’t in piano lessons; it’s in this thing called koma. She set up some deals with my son’s friends but I’m a little nervous going into the city by myself because… well… I’m not poor,” she laughed. “Could you be a dear and help me out? I’ll be sure to write you a nice check.” 

I’m just surprised she didn’t mention ‘the homosexuals.’

I grit my teeth and tuned out the racist ramblings of the woman beside me as I drove her around town. By the end of it she gave me a hefty stack of am cash and told me to ‘buy Sharista a pretty gift.’

The next guy was a black dude named Legal Lee. 

When I walked into his office, he was on the phone. “How many times do I have to explain it to you Miss Jackson, do not walk around without wearing your neck brace. If someone catches you it could severely hurt our chances in court. Just remember: the whiplash had caused excruciating, chronic pain. You got that? Good. Have a nice night Miss Jackson.” While he spoke, I looked a picture on the wall. 

Lee hung up the phone and faced me. “What can I do for you young lady? Are you looking to put together a case? Before we can file a claim, we need to find something wrong with you.” 

How much time do you have? Cause there’s a whole list. 

“You look like an enterprising woman. I’m sure you can come up with something.” 

And that’s how I ended up playing in traffic. Luckily, I have a high pain tolerance. This comes in handy for me later as well. 

The third and final person I helped was named Mr. Wong…. Mister Wong was a Chinese man. I met him in a teahouse in Chinatown. I assumed he didn’t speak English because he had a translator. 

“Your table is this way, ma’am,” the translator said. He led me to Mr. Wong. 

The sitting Asian man started speaking; the translator spoke a moment later. “My name is Wong Sheng Tai, welcome to my teahouse. Please sit down.” 

I watched him carefully before doing so. 

“It is an honor to meet you; it is rare in this country to find someone with your tenacity.” The man pulled out a few envelops. 

“Contained inside are the specifics about a group of men who have wronged my family… go and speak to them, but they are not to be harmed.” Almost as soon as the translator stopped speaking Mr. Wong shot in him the leg. 

The man fell to the ground screaming. Mr. Wong calmly placed the gun on the tabling pointing at me. “He heard me wrong,” Mr. Wong said in English. “I wish for them all to be dead. Do we have a deal?” 

Holy fuck. 

It had been a hectic week, I’d been shot, stabbed, run over, offended by a middle age white woman, and now a scary Asian man was… offering me a job as a hitman. I’m pretty sure the man could have done a better job than me, but I took the job anyway. I made a point to never work with Julius’ ‘friends’ again. 

Lin and I met a bar. When I walked in, a man was trying to flirt with Lin. She took his lighter from him, lit her cigarette and tossed it over her shoulder. I couldn’t help myself when I bumped into him as he passed me. 

“Asshole,” the man muttered under his breath. Instead of causing a scene I let the man go. 

“I tell ya, you and me are always making new friends,” Lin said as I sat beside her. “Things are moving too slow. We gotta step it up. I hear a guy named Joseph Price calls the shots. I don’t know much about him ‘cept that he’s friends with some mechanic named Donnie. If we get good with Price’s crew, we’ll always be one step away of those fuckers. 

“Here’s the plan. Go and tear up Donnie’s shop. Right when you’re about to finish off Price’s buddy I’ll rush in and save the day. Make it look good, but don’t you dare mess up my car. If we’re lucky, Donnie will arrange a meet with Price.” 

I stared at the bar as I absorbed what she said. 

“Thanks for buying my tea.” With that, she left. I glared as I pulled out my wallet. 

The following day I woke up early stopping by Friendly Fire I stocked up on my ammo and got my guns fixed up. After that I took Julius’ car to Rim Jobs. The fucking yellow paint had to go. 

“You want what done now?” The mechanic asked, looking at me bewildered. 

“I want the paint stripped off and blacked out. What’s so weird about that?” 

“This is gonna be a few thousand dollars.” 

“And?” 

“You’re going to have to pay upfront.” 

I crossed my arms and glared at the man. “Yeah fucking right.” 

“It’s company policy.” 

“Fuck that. That car is worth more than this shop. I’ll pay when I see y’all didn’t fuck it up.” 

The man looked around the shop for help. “If you leave, you’re name and number I can have my manager-” 

“You can fix my car. Or the Saints are going to fuck you up.” 

The man paled. “Alright, fine! But you have to pay when you pick it up or we’re keeping the car!” 

I scoffed at the man, tossing my car keys at him. “Don’t take too long.” 

With that taken care of I started walking back towards the church. I didn’t get more than a few blocks over when I saw it. 

‘Now under construction Lic-A-Chic.’ 

My jaw dropped. Back in Sunnyvale we had the best chicken place in the state. Lic-A-Chic had their signature Fuck-it Bucket for five bucks. I knew where I was going from here on out. Fuck Freckle Bitch’s. 

I shot my way into the workshop. I quickly made my way to the back and found Donnie. As he ran out of the back, I chased him. Lin had pulled up and saved the man. It was all very staged and practiced. I shot the walls directing the man out of the right doors. Leading him like a sheep to slaughter. He raced right into Lin’s car. A drowning man finding refuge in a sinking ship. 

I watched the car from the door way, fully expecting it to rush away as soon as the door shut. Lin hesitated, and I took that to mean that I needed to let some rounds off. I fired a few shots just as she hit the gas. A few of my bullets ricocheted off of the nearby steel beams and scratched and scrapped her car. 

Just as she started to drive Lin let her SMG loose on me. I dived out of the way, landing behind a stack of pallets. I listened to the quickly fading sounds of her engine. Three, four, five. I rushed out of my hiding spot and got into my car I had parked nearby. 

My arm didn’t feel right. I had a pretty hard life up to this point my joints weren’t in tip top shape anymore. But as I looked down and saw a slowly growing red stain, I realized maybe it wasn’t just a stiff joint. Lin fucking shot me. And adrenaline is a hell of a drug. 

For a racecar driver, Lin wasn’t trying very hard. I wasn’t the best driver, I was even worse in Stillwater, but alas Lin allowed me to keep up. I followed them for a while before Lin floored it and was out of sight. 

I headed to a twenty-four-hour pharmacy. The cashier took one look at me. “Ma’am do you need medical attention?” 

“No.” 

The man just stood there as I calmly went to the back isle looking for gauze. I filled up my basket with alcohol and bandaging. As I passed the counter, I tossed a wade of cash at the man, not stopping to check out, taking the basket with me. 

This wasn’t the first time I dug a bullet out of my own arm, and fuck it wasn’t gonna be the last. I took a swig of vodka and started digging the bullet out with forceps. 

Just as I tossed the bullet into a bowl of water, someone knocked on the door. 

Lin was staring at the ground as I answered the door. She looked up at me with a small smile before her eyes landed on my shoulder. “Oh my god you’re hurt. Who did that?” 

I stared at her pointedly. 

“Oh, I didn’t think it would hit you.” 

I sighed and stepped back so she could enter the penthouse. 

“Did you get the bullet out?” 

I pointed at a bowl full of bloody water. 

“You dug that out yourself? What kind of pain pills are you on right now?” she asked as she sat on my couch. 

“None.” I didn’t even get high. Pain was kinda… something that I enjoyed. 

She stared at me dumbfounded. “Lemme see your wound.” 

I scoffed. Once I realized she was serious I took my shirt off and sat beside her. 

She leaned over to inspect my wound. “Sorry about this.” 

I shook my head. “I’ve had worse.” 

She sighed and dressed my wound. “Our plan worked. I met Price and his uncle. Tomorrow you’re gonna have to protect some trucks.” 

“Good. I’d hate to let you shoot me for nothing.” 

She laughed slightly. “I honestly didn’t mean to shoot you.” 

“Really? I thought you were pissed that I dared to hurt your car.” 

“I would have just made you pay to have it fixed,” she muttered.

As she spoke my eyes wandered down to her lips. Wow. They were really close. I could reach out and kiss them right now. I wonder how she would react to that. Fuck I wanted to kiss her. 

She smirked as I stared at her lips. Lin grabbed a handful of my tank top and pulled me into her.

It wasn’t long before she had me laying on my back. My wrists pinned against the couch above me. She leaned back and took off her shirt in one quick movement. On thing that was always painfully obvious, Lin didn’t wear bras. 

I immediately started running my hands across her stomach, making my way around her torso.   
  
She smiled as she leaned back down into a kiss.

Eventually, she let me up enough to get my shirt and pants off.

I should have thought about what would happen when she got my pants off. It had been a few years since I had a lover. I hadn’t even thought about drug use back then. Surely it wouldn’t be hard to find someone who didn’t care about drug use. Unfortunately, Lin wasn’t one of them. 

Track marks are wounds left over from japing a needle into your veins. Most people had them on their arms but my thighs were riddled with them. 

When Lin’s hand found my wounds, she froze. She removed her lips from my neck and looked between my legs. 

“What are you on?” she demanded in a deadly tone. 

What am I on? I’m on my couch, about to get fucked apparently, even though I’m typically the one doing the fucking. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “What?” 

She pulled away from me. “What are you using?” 

Oh, that. “Why does it matter?” 

“I’m not fucking a junkie.” 

“First off, I’m not a junkie. Secondly, why not?” 

“I don’t want whatever the hell you have.” 

“I always use new needles.” Mostly. Unless I’m desperate. It had been at least a few years since the last time I used a dirty needle. “I’m clean.” 

“Oh, and I’m supposed to take your word?” 

“Yes, I wouldn’t lie about my health, and I’d hope none of my partners would either.” 

She sighed and ran a hand though her hair. “Look. This junk, whatever you’re using, it’s going to kill you.” 

I sat up and grabbed my pants. “Yeah, that’s the fucking point. I wouldn’t have joined a gang if I cared about my wellbeing.” 

Lin stood as she put her shirt on. “I like you. That doesn’t happen often. We could have something here, but not if you’re on that shit,” Lin sighed. “Tell you what. After this thing with the Rollerz blows over, lemme take you out for coffee. We can get to know each other a little better. Maybe we can talk about getting you clean.” 

“No. I’m not gonna stop using just because I want to fuck you! And I’m sure as hell not going take any shit from you about my ‘bad habits.’ If I wanted that I’d visit my fucking family in Sunnyvale!” 

She sighed. “I hope you change your mind, but I understand. I’ll get in contact with you when I have something for you to do.” 

“Just get the fuck out.” 

I’ve always been the type of person to blame myself. I blamed myself for Lin’s death. I blamed myself for everything that happened to Carlos. I still blame myself for Johnny even though the fucker’s told me a hundred times that he would have done the same thing. 

There were so many little things that week that if they had gone differently then she would still be here with us. I still think this was one of them. But fuck, I always blamed my drug use on my mistakes. If I had been clean maybe Cass wouldn’t have become an alcoholic. Maybe my father wouldn’t have died with my gun in his mouth. Maybe my mother wouldn’t think her child was dead. 

The next four days I spent high as I could be. Whenever I wasn’t high, I was drunk. Fuck I don’t think I ate for at least thirty hours. 

When Lin called me, I had to spend an hour trying to stop the bleeding and clean myself up. 

“Stopping those hijackings really fucked up some things for the Rollerz. They got a whole list of cars that they’re planning on jackin’. Make sure they can’t find what they’re looking for.” 

I went around town, blowing up the type of cars that Lin said to. I tell you it would have been so much easier with a phone with a camera let me tell you. At a certain point I just started blowing shit up. Eventually, I got the job done though. 

I was at the church chillin’ with the Saints. It was safer; I didn’t have my stash here. Plus, most of the Saints left me alone. A few of the guys would try to hit on me, although after the first few walked away bloodied they stopped trying. 

Julius walked in. “Sup playa? Lin’s been sayin’ you’re doin’ a hell of a job, even with a bad shoulder. Keep it up.” 

My phone rang. 

“That Lin?” Julius asked. 

I nodded. 

“Hey, meet me at the pool hall. The Rollerz are getting up to something big.” 

Julius put his hands up. “Don’t let me hold you up. You know how Lin hate’s to be kept waiting.” 

It was an ambush. I didn’t know why but the Rollerz were at the pool hall waiting for me. For this very reason, I don’t go anywhere without my weapons. 

Lin was in one of the upper rooms tied to a chair. I ran to her. “Lin? Lin are you alright?” I asked shaking her slightly. 

Lin muttered something.   
  


“Lin?”   
  


“Behind you,” she said barely loud enough for me to hear. Before I could react, the world went black.

I’m displeased to say this wasn’t the first time I woke up tied up in a truck, I’m just thankful that there wasn’t a dead body in there with me. Again. 

“Hey, I think we stopped moving,” Lin said after a few moments. “Are you even alive? Say something!” 

“When I imagined being this close to you, I had hoped it wouldn’t have been in the trunk of a car,” I muttered. 

She half scoffed half laughed. “I’ll that that as you’re alive. Where the fuck is my lighter…” 

“If you want, I can feel you up a little—to find the lighter of course.” I couldn’t actually do that due to the rope on my wrists but hey, a girl’s gotta dream. 

Suddenly the trunk opened. Donnie and Sharp stared at us. 

“Lin?” Donnie whispered. Oh, shit did I hear seagulls? Were we on the docks? 

“Donnie, listen to me I swear to god— “Sharp fired into Lin, I couldn’t see where the gun was pointed, but it silenced Lin. 

Next thing I know the butt of the pistol slams into my head and I’m falling in and out of consciousness while Donnie’s scream Lin’s name. 

“Take a deep breath and count to ten Donnie.” 

“Take a deep breath?! You just shot my girl!” Your girl? Lin was her own girl. But if she was going to be anybody’s girl, she’d be fucking mine. 

“Yes, it’s tragic,” William Sharp said, almost humoring the boy. The trunk was shut. Moments later the car was falling… into water. 

“Hey… stay… stay calm,” Lin said weakly. Fuck this hurt. Here Lin was, dying, with a bullet in her stomach and she was telling me to stay calm. Fuck, why didn’t I save her? 

“You’re alive?!” 

Lin laughed. “We’re gotta get out of this. We can laugh at the irony later. I think I found my lighter.” She struggled a little. “Did you hear that asshole Donnie? He said I was his girl…” Lin’s head fell back. 

“Lin? Lin!” I forced myself to take a deep breath, to calm down. I started working the ropes on my wrists. 

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get myself and a half dead Lin out of the truck. The water had gotten too high, there wasn’t enough air, Lin was too heavy to lift with my injured shoulder. I could give a thousand excuses, but the fact remains that I let Lin die that night. I let her sit in that truck and bleed out. I should have been able to save her. This is what happens when you become too emotional. You don’t clear rooms out correctly. So many things went wrong and if I had just done what I was trained to do, it wouldn’t have… None of this would have happened. 

Nothing was going to stop me from killing Sharp. Nothing. Not the ache in my head, or the fact that five minutes before I was moments away from dying. Sharp was going to die tonight. Slowly if I could help it. 

First, I had to find a car. 

I remembered slamming into Sharp’s car. Before the man could recover, I was out of my car. I pulled Sharp out of his. I beat the man bloody in the middle of the road. With his nose broken and his eyes swelling, I tossed him into the trunk of my car. My first thought was to toss him into the same river Lin was currently dead in. How fucking poetic would that be? But that’s the coward's way to kill someone, I wanted to see the light leave his eyes. 

I don’t remember driving to the still empty pool hall, or tying him to a chair. At some point I got wrenches, pillars, and saws; I remember the aftermath. I remember the teeth, the nails, the fingers and the toes, the ears. I remember the fire, as I used Lin’s lighter and a tank of gasoline, not caring about the screams that proved that William was still alive. 

I had two addictions at this point. My first addiction was heroin. My second was torture. I revealed in hearing the screams. That’s why I was so valuable in the army. No one enjoyed torturing other people; I fucking loved it. The control of having someone completely at my mercy was intoxicating. 

The next day I went to the church. 


End file.
